facebook statuses I haven’t made since being here

1. Dear Canada, how I make the friend?

2. Montréal has a really nice metro system, where people know not to make eye-contact. It’s like being at home, in that everyone is afraid of their bag being stolen.

3. Canada? More like CanaDON’T!!! #amiright

4. I really, really like grid systems.

5. Let me know if you want to send me a letter here! It’s a beautiful country in which to read about how all of you have mediocre lives in comparison to me.

6. Well, I guess I know why they call it CRUSHING loneliness!

7. ‘Toby seems so zen, but his eyes are screaming: SAVE ME.’

8. Poutine is fucking fantastic, a heart attack smiling at you from a plate.

9. A worried smile and a British accent will get you really far here.

10. Do all gays have super-powers from Hell, or is it just me?

11. It’s very pretty here, and I have a rm w/ a vu.

12. Oh. I’m quite happy, really.