titles are easier than actual blogposts


writing an actual blog-post proved tricky, despite promises that I would do so. I’m unsure of how to sum up a varied and confusing and mostly-excellent time, especially as my writing style, much like my general existence, is both painfully sardonic and much too awkward. here are some titles of things I tried and failed to write.

1. I should never have sacrificed that goat: why attempts at witchcraft only lead to God punishing you and your ipod

2. … and Part 2: when finding that your ipod still works makes you question your atheism?

3. Why Forgetting To Eat Could Be The Diet For You!

4. Only in Ontario: best friends out of context still make one feel at home

5. Narcissism 101, or ‘Why I’m The Best Person I Know’

6. I thought a man was cuddling a tiny pug-puppy, but it was a cup of coffee: how this sums up my entire Montréal experience

7. Thoughts on your post-adolescent bigotry: maybe, if you think it SOUNDS offensive, that’s because it IS offensive.

8. The Food Revolution: Lentils of the World, UNITE!

9. Visiting Vermont: how USA Border Control taking you into a side-room and trying to make you answer questionnaires in Portuguese can be somewhat distressing?

10. Canada is beautiful, and though I miss some things, life-right-now is pretty nice: reminding oneself of that whilst eating yoghurt

11. North Americans (and others?!) apparently spell 'yoghurt' as 'yogurt': this is a godless place


facebook statuses I haven’t made since being here

1. Dear Canada, how I make the friend?

2. Montréal has a really nice metro system, where people know not to make eye-contact. It’s like being at home, in that everyone is afraid of their bag being stolen.

3. Canada? More like CanaDON’T!!! #amiright

4. I really, really like grid systems.

5. Let me know if you want to send me a letter here! It’s a beautiful country in which to read about how all of you have mediocre lives in comparison to me.

6. Well, I guess I know why they call it CRUSHING loneliness!

7. ‘Toby seems so zen, but his eyes are screaming: SAVE ME.’

8. Poutine is fucking fantastic, a heart attack smiling at you from a plate.

9. A worried smile and a British accent will get you really far here.

10. Do all gays have super-powers from Hell, or is it just me?

11. It’s very pretty here, and I have a rm w/ a vu.

12. Oh. I’m quite happy, really.